Johnny Manziel and the NFL's Tired Old Cliches


So the kid wasn't so great in his NFL debut. So what?

Now that he has prostrated himself so that NFL writers can lecture all of us about teamwork, maturity, and practice (we're talking about practice? Not a game, practice? - thanks NBA), I would expect that, between now and this time next year, running Johnny Football out of the game will be the blood sport of the post-Tebow era.

Sportswriters project their worldview onto athletes and, in so doing, can crank out between one and five columns that they wouldn't already have had to write. All they have to do is look for a kid like Manziel and get all serious and tell everyone about the sanctity of the team sport.

This is all bullshit because if Manziel had won and not gotten hurt, he'd still have three girls on his lap before and after "practice."

If you win, you get to keep doing whatever you want. If you lose, take a knee and kiss the ring.

The Minnesota Vikings Are a Hapless Franchise


For the first time since 1983, the Minnesota Vikings will not be sending a player to the useless human endeavor known as the Pro Bowl:
For the first time in three decades, the Vikings did not have a player selected to the Pro Bowl.
The Vikings had a pair of strong candidates in defensive end Everson Griffen and safety Harrison Smith, but they were edged out by other top performers at their positions in voting done by fans, coaches and fellow players.
The last time the Vikings were not represented at the Pro Bowl was 1983.
In his first season as a starter, Griffen ranks eighth in the NFL with 12 sacks through 15 games and also has recorded 51 tackles. But he was not one of the six defensive ends selected.
Smith, meanwhile, is tied for fifth in the NFL with five interceptions and his three sacks are tied for the most among defensive backs. But six other safeties were picked.
While no Vikings made the Pro Bowl through the voting process, there is a chance that Griffen, Smith or another Vikings player could later be selected as an alternate.
If this sort of thing still mattered, I'm sure it would be an issue. I don't know that I've even ever seen a Pro Bowl game. Why do they still play it? Are they afraid that the NFL junket to Hawaii will cause someone to actually feel a measure of outrage that they were denied a chance to go play a meaningless game?

The Minnesota Vikings remain a hapless franchise. They should sit down with the team that plays in Washington D.C. and figure out who can claim the mantle of worst professional sports franchise ever.

A Little Ole Misunderstanding


Chad Kelly is a gamer.

When everything is on the line, he goes for it all. If you mess with him, he'll just come back and spray the place with bullets and kill people and he doesn't mind telling you that to your face. I don't know what Ole Miss thinks they're getting in a player, but here's a young college athlete who isn't going to be run out of any bars without showing them that he knows how to play this game.

Now, I don't know which game he wants to play in life--that of a quarterback or of a gunslinging mastermind of violent retribution. But he has privileges that most athletes dream about.

Did he violently assault some people? Yep.

Was he resisting arrest? Heck yeah.

Did he threaten to shoot people with an assault rifle? Sure.

Was he released the next day without bail?

Wait--no bail?

Yep.

I have no words for that. I get that he was being an asshole and that he was out of control. I get that he was violent and disrespectful and that the letter of intent he signed can now be used as toilet paper because this young man has done some serious damage to his future prospects.

But no bail for such a person? Someone who did what he did gets no bail whatsoever? That, I do not understand. Perhaps there was a misunderstanding. This young white male threatened to shoot people dead with an assault rifle and there was no concern the next day in court for whether or not he would show up for future proceedings so they just let him out of jail without bail?

Now, pretend Chad Kelly was black and get back to me on race relations in America right now. We have black men dying for a thousand times less than Chad Kelly got away with without having to post bail for in America right damned now and nobody says anything about it?

Amazing.