Sunday, September 20, 2009

So Fire Pete Carroll, Then

Success breeds a kind of insanity in sports. No matter how good you are, and no matter how far you bring a franchise, there will always be sports writers who cannot accept anything less than absolute dominance and success in a sport where you can count yourself lucky winning a national title once per generation:
USC's 16-13 loss at Washington would be shocking if stuff like this didn't happen so often after big wins over Ohio State.

Side note: As USC was returning home after "the Mistake by the Lake," the last school to defeat USC in a regular-season nonconference game, Kansas State, was playing UCLA at the Rose Bowl.

For you history buffs: USC lost at Kansas State, 27-20, on Sept. 21, 2002, three games deep into Coach Pete Carroll's second season.

The only out-of-league game the Trojans have lost since came against Texas in the 2005 season national championship game.

From 2002 to now, USC's failure to handle unranked Pacific 10 Conference opponents in the Carroll era has cost the Trojans possible national titles in 2006, 2007, 2008 and . . . 2009?

Six of USC's eight defeats in Pac-10 play since 2002 have come against unranked teams. The exceptions: Washington State was No. 17 when it won in 2002 and Oregon was No. 5 two years ago when it won in Eugene.

Somebody on a micro-blog summed it up by tweeting that USC needs to stop scheduling unranked opponents.

Of course, that would mean opting out of the Pac-10

The untimely defeats, plus one play in the Texas game, have cost USC the almost unthinkable opportunity to have won six consecutive national titles.

Oh, my heart breaks for you! As a Princeton Football supporter, I'm so heartbroken for poor USC.

Bill Plaschke writes it up like the clown he truly is:
After another one of those avoidable upset losses that now threaten to overtake his sparkling resume like a giant mustard stain, Carroll's accountability was admirable.

Everything else he did -- or didn't do -- plain stunk.

The Trojans lost to a 21-point underdog after leading by 10 points after two possessions.

The Trojans lost to a team with a rookie head coach that had just finished losing 15 straight games.

The Trojans lost their focus, their common sense and their cool in a game that seemed to strip Carroll of even his suntan.

"It's amazing, just amazing," said Huskies linebacker Donald Butler.

Don't blame this on the fact that USC was playing without starting quarterback Matt Barkley, because it still out-gained Washington.

Yes, fire Pete Carroll. Fire him, immediately. Everyone knows that when you only score 13 points, without your starting quarterback, the only thing that matters is yardage from the line of scrimmage, not actual points on the board, as a statistic measuring whether the team should have won. Pete Carroll is the devil, of course. He is worse than Hitler. He may well be Hitler, you see, and USC cannot risk having Hitler coach this team. He must be run out of USC on a rail. He must be banished from all things USC. He is clearly a loser, and anyone else that USC can get will obviously take the team to seven or eight uncontested national titles in a row.

Here's the absolute truth--a great football team got beaten. End of story. Happens all the time. Pete Carroll knows what he has to do to improve his team, and none of the sportswriters have an answer. They just have an ill-informed bitch.


  1. Pete Carroll is a joke!!

  2. Bwah! That's hilarious. Pete Carroll will go down as one of the most successful, winningest coaches in the history of college football.