Showing posts with label Football. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Football. Show all posts

Monday, October 26, 2020

The Curse is Upon You

 


This is approximately the moment where Cowboy's quarterback Andy Dalton was beheaded for no good reason by some dirty players from the Washington Football Club.

I guess we need to stop writing about Andy Dalton because, jeez, man, you got taken for a ride downtown.

Tuesday, October 20, 2020

What the Hell, Andy Dalton?

 


I saw this happen live and I flipped the channel. I've seen this before, in all of those Bengals games that went before. 

There is no point in trying to make the case that Andy Dalton should be a starting quarterback in the NFL. He has clearly done something in practice that does not warrant the immediate shutdown of contract negotiations and render him banished to the parking lot with a box of belongings and a note that lets him get on a city bus to a downtown terminal for relocation elsewhere. 

Follow the link and watch the pass bounce out of the hands of the defensive player for the Cardinals (hey, stone hands, that's why you're on defense!). It really was a terrible pass. But it was terrible because Dalton has poor judgement. It has nothing to do with physicality or ability. I mean, there are, literally, several complete seasons of this activity ready for review. Did you think something had changed about him when he put on a Cowboys uniform? Did he magically transform into the Second Coming of Bart Starr or something similar to that?

I would submit to you that the Cowboys exist solely to piss off 75% of the country and failure will cling to them forever.

Why would you sign a guy with poor judgement? Can't you figure out who has good judgement as a quarterback and who might be better served holding down a seat on the next Greyhound out of town?

Sunday, September 27, 2020

Jennifer Montana is a Hero

Jennifer Montana saved her own grandchild from a kidnapper. Former football player Joe Montana will probably be talking about his brave and heroic spouse for the rest of his life:

Football great Joe Montana and his wife, Jennifer, faced down a would-be kidnapper at their Malibu home this weekend, saving their 9-month-old grandchild from being taken.

Montana told police an unknown woman entered the residence on Saturday and took his grandchild from a playpen, where the child was sleeping, according to a Los Angeles Sheriff's Department statement.

As the suspect held the child, Joe and Jennifer Montana, "confronted the female, attempted to de-escalate the situation, and asked for the suspect to give back their grandchild," according to the LASD.

"A tussle ensued and Mrs. Montana was able to safely pry the child out of the suspect’s arms," the LASD statement stated.

This story leads with Jennifer Montana's bravery and it notes that Joe was there to witness things.

Wednesday, September 2, 2020

Kirk Cousins is a Moron


All you have to do is go to someone in the front office. You say, "can someone help me understand what's happening here?" And someone gives Kirk a phone number or brings someone in to talk to him. That's all that has to happen and we can avoid this sort of thing.


Virtually everything Cousins says here is uninformed and ignorant. Masks work, and casting doubt on that puts people at risk. He's using his status and position to mislead people and that's extremely dangerous. When it comes to people's health, you do not fuck around with this.

This is the sort of thing that could be fixed by sitting down with his employer, which should be an organization with the kinds of resources that would help one of its highest paid employees with some basic fucking common sense about the global pandemic that is preventing the organization and the league that it is a part of from making billions of dollars. Now, some organizations are not dynamic and staffed with backoffs and fools. I get that.

Somewhere in the Vikings organization is a player or coach or staffer who has a relative with a serious health issue that makes them vulnerable to COVID-19. I would think that they would be reacting with horror at what Cousins said and I would hope that someone is arranging for the team's franchise quarterback to get some goddamned useful information as soon as possible.

But then, hey. You get it, you get it. If you die, you die. Whatever, man.

Tuesday, July 21, 2020

High School Football in Texas


Things are so bad in Texas, they're actually going to delay the start of High School Football Season and I made it all caps because damn, that's what you have to do:
The University Interscholastic League has delayed the start of high school football for Texas' two largest conferences because of the COVID-19 pandemic.
Class 6A and 5A schools were originally slated to begin practices Aug. 3 but will have to instead wait until Sept. 7, per the Dallas Morning News' Callie Caplan. As a result, their games will begin no earlier than Sept. 24.
This is a big fucking deal, as they say in other areas of concern. You know it's a huge thing because they regularly spend over $50 million dollars for a high school football stadium that only gets used a few times per year. What that says about the value of an education in Texas is something I'll leave to you.

Monday, July 13, 2020

Dan Snyder is a Broken Man


The fact that this is happening is not because Dan Snyder has had a change of heart. It's happening because he's afraid of losing money.
Just less than two weeks after one of his most prominent corporate sponsors urged him to change the name of his football team, Washington owner Daniel Snyder plans to announce the retirement of the "Redskins" nickname and reveal a new team name Monday morning, a person with knowledge of the situation confirmed to USA TODAY. The new name remains unknown, but Warriors, Red Wolves and Redtails have ranked among the post popular choices among fans on social media. Snyder has long ignored requests of Native American tribes and other organizations to change the name because some deem the term offensive, citing the fact that the dictionary classifies it as a racial slur.
 The threat of losing corporate partners and sponsorships is driving the change from what the team is called now to what will likely be the "Warriors." That's the word I'm hearing. It could be some other option, but at least it is happening.

Snyder, who is the worst owner in professional sports, is probably a broken man right now. I would argue that this is what he's doing in order to keep the team from declining in value faster than it already is. There's a good chance that he'll get a new stadium built inside of the District of Columbia but there's a better chance that Snyder is going to sell the team in order to get out from under the controversy and the misery of his tenure as the owner.

No one has done more to alienate their fanbase than the Washington Football Team. No one.

Tuesday, June 16, 2020

Brett Will Send You Dick Pics For Free



I may never grow up:

Some bored and cooped-up celebrities (we're using that term lightly) have apparently hit "Peak Quarantine" are now offering Zoom calls with fans for hundreds -- and even thousands -- of dollars.

Cameo, a startup that lets you pay celebrities for personal video messages, now lets users book a 10-minute Zoom call with, let's say, well-known people. The costliest are former football star Brett Favre for $5,000, ex-NSYNC singer Lance Bass for $1,250 and skateboarder Tony Hawk for $1,000. 

Thursday, February 27, 2020

17 Games


To me, this is a crazy number of games for the NFL to play in one season:
As we stand on the verge of another decade of labor peace, I can’t get that out of my head, and my reasoning is simple. Over the last couple weeks, we’ve discussed everything from the revenue split to pensions to how individual contracts will work under a reformatted NFL schedule, and the main thing is still the main thing.
My belief is the reason why opposition against the current CBA proposal has persisted lies therein. It’s the 17th game. Period. End of story.
It’s been clear from the start that players are leery about the idea of extending their season—creating another set of car crashes in a system that already called for 16 of them. And a lot of them knew that the owners’ strong desire to do that, in addition to their concern over further delaying the broadcast negotiation, created leverage.
So some players wanted the union to push for more, in just about every category.

You want 17 games? Fine. Then it’s on our terms.
And they did get more in some areas. The money in this deal is good, and if the goal is, “Let’s keep getting rich!” then the deal the union’s done is totally fine. But if you were looking for a game-changer, then this really isn’t that.
The franchise tag system is the same, as is the vesting schedule. There were tweaks to rookie contracts and the funding rule, but problems with those (team control over players for six or seven years, a crutch to use in not guaranteeing contracts) aren’t going away. And specific to the issue of 17 games, there are problems. The max number of padded practices in training camp was cut from 28 to 16, but offseason and in-season rules didn’t change.
The impact of an NFL game in an American city is easy to measure. On game day, revenue pours in. People spend their cash like it's water. Adding just one more home game per year, every other year, means more of the same. More people through the gates, more butts in seats, more of everything.

However, it means shorter careers and more injuries for the players. I hope they get a larger piece of that pie. I think they're getting too little as it is in relation to what the owners are walking away with every home game.

It's just my mathematical bias speaking, but an uneven number of games throws me off a bit. If anything, I would cut the number of pre-season games to two and I would add two more bye weeks into the current 16 game season. I wouldn't even keep the 16 game season. If I could, I'd knock it back to 12.

You would get less football. But you'd get fewer injuries, and guys would play longer. No one would like my idea, but there it is.

Thursday, September 20, 2018

Cleveland Wins




Congratulations are in order for the Cleveland Browns. Take note, fans of sports ball. Your team sucks sometimes, too.

Talk of making it to what they call “the Playoffs” is a bit premature, however.

Thursday, April 27, 2017

The NFL Draft is Complete and Utter Bullshit




If I really wanted to go further into this subject, I would tell you two things.

One, ESPN laid off a bunch of people today because no one likes their product. People are cutting the cord, they're abandoning televised sports, and they're not interested in whatever ESPN is selling. If you have a product, and demand for that product drops, it probably means that people just don't like your shit.

Two, ESPN is desperately trying to make fetch a thing. No, sorry, that's wrong. ESPN is desperately trying to make the NFL Draft a thing. It is not a thing. The NFL draft is an attempt, by the National Football League, to find a handful of college players who can survive playing professional football. Every year, teams fail to find good football players. Instead, they make minor celebrities out of players who go to pieces mentally, fall apart physically, or fail to take advantage of an opportunity to play professional football. This all unfolds at these things called training camps, which aren't a thing, either. This is the behind the scenes developmental stuff that most people don't care about. 

Do you know who cares about this stuff? Zealous superfans, degenerate gamblers, and the family members who think they're going to get paid. That's more sad than happy, I'm afraid.

Here's a question for the NFL. Do you have a football game to play in September? Then go play it. Here's one for ESPN. Do you not get that people are losing interest? It's called voting with your remote crontrol. There are fewer and fewer people who are interested football, and televised sports as a whole. Are you going to front load your programming here in the off season with bullshit for months and months and make something out of nothing? I gotta tell you, I'm even less interested now.

ESPN, you suck. The NFL Draft is not a thing. Go back to what you're good at, which is putting on things people want to watch. Big hint for you--everything you're doing right now is NOT working.













Thursday, April 13, 2017

Eli Manning Wants You to Have Fake NFL Memorabilia




Let's not pretend that this is a unique and horrifying story about one unethical athlete. I would be willing to bet you that Eli Manning is just the guy who got caught saying what he felt:

Eli Manning had a role in the New York Giants' scheme to sell fake game-used memorabilia, Kaja Whitehouse and Bruce Golding of the New York Post reported.

Per court documents, Manning sent an email to equipment manager Joe Skiba that read, "2 helmets that can pass as game used. That is it. Eli."

This came shortly after a request from marketing agent Alan Zucker for two game-used helmets and jerseys.

Manning, Skiba and the Giants were among those named in a lawsuit from three memorabilia collectors.

Another email exchange featured Skiba admitting to the plaintiff that Manning created the fake memorabilia because he "didnt want to give up the real stuff."

So much for the sanctity of the sport and the love that an organization has for its fans. Anything for a buck, right?

Do you know how much sports memorabilia I own?

None.

Why?

Because it's probably all fake, and always has been fake, so why throw away money on something that could be real or could be as phony as Eli's crocodile tears will be when he has to address this issue. I don't hound people for autographs and I don't care about selfies or anything like that. Do you know what's real?

Technically, everything.

But why throw away money on something? For the fun of it? Well, I guess it depends on how you define fun.

Oh, and why are most of Archie Manning's kids assholes? 













Thursday, March 30, 2017

No Guns at Arkansas Football Games




Somewhere, someone is sad but I'm now following Wally Hall because, well, why the hell not?

Arkansas fans, leave your guns at home. You're not allowed to take them to football games (seems like someone always forgets, right?)













Wednesday, March 22, 2017

This is Stupid, and, Of Course, It Involves Guns




I refuse to believe that people in Arkansas are this stupid:

Arkansas Governor Asa Hutchinson has signed a bill regarding a person’s ability to carry a concealed handgun into various buildings at a public university or college into state law. However, House Bill 1249 will not allow all legal gun owners to carry a gun to a football game in the state of Arkansas.

Football games will be considered a “sensitive area,” which require enhanced training in order to be allowed to carry a gun into a football stadium. The law supposedly trumps any provisions already in place to prevent guns from being allowed on the premises.

“The enhanced level of training is very important, and I am convinced the public will be more safe,” Governor Hutchinson said. “This bill, in my view, reflects the view of the general assembly.”

The view of the general assembly is, "beer plus college football plus shenanigans is enhanced by the presence of guns as long as you have enhanced training."

What the hell is that, by the way? Well, to me, it's something that the police chief's kid gets in order to wave around in front of people. It's what people with a lot of money and influence get when they want something from the local sheriff. It's kind of a no-brainer. If you are smart enough to pass "enhanced level of gun training" class, shouldn't you also be smart enough to know that a football stadium is exactly where you don't take your gun?

What happened to common sense? Do you know where you need to carry your gun? Not at a college football game, that's where.













Saturday, January 14, 2017

So Long, Raiders




Is this really going to make anyone happy?

The Raiders will file relocation papers to move from Oakland to Las Vegas, according to NFL Media's Ian Rapoport.

Funding has already been approved for the Raiders' new $1.9 billion NFL stadium. The money approved by Nevada law makers includes private and public money. The initial plans showed the Raiders would contribute $500 million and casino owner Sheldon Adelson would contribute $650 million. Hotel tax funding may contribute another $750 million.

The move would have to be approved by 24 of the NFL owners at their upcoming meeting in March.

There used to be an understanding that, because of legalized gambling, no professional sports team would move to Las Vegas, Nevada. I think that, give we're about to see an NHL expansion team start up there, those days are gone. It's hard to come up with $2 billion for a stadium, but if the Raiders were, indeed, looking to move, why not another major city in the United States? It seems like a temporary fix to me. Why not go to St. Louis, San Antonio, or Louisville? Why not find a city that wants an NFL franchise? Oklahoma City wouldn't be a bad idea, either. Notice I did not say Des Moines.














 

 

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Rex Ryan and Rob Ryan




Not much love from the local media in Buffalo:

Rex Ryan came to Buffalo full of bluster and boast, proclaiming himself as the man who was going to end the Bills’ unfathomable playoff drought, which in January 2015 stood at 15 years.

Rex was going to build a bully, the kind of team that no one was going to want to play against. The No. 4-ranked defense he inherited would become No. 1, just you wait and see. Playoffs? Of course the Bills were going to make it.

“I’m not going to let our fans down,” the bombastic Ryan said the day he was introduced as the Bills’ head coach, two weeks after Doug Marrone had quit. “I’m not going to do that. I know it’s been 15 years since the Bills made the playoffs. Well, get ready man, we’re going. We’re going. Am I guaranteeing a Super Bowl and all that? I’ll tell you what I will do; I will guarantee the pursuit of it. Through hard work, through preparation, we’re going to see how many teams match our work ethic, and all that.”

Well, two years later, Bills fans are let down, way down, not to mention aggravated, and now they have to saddle up for another bumpy ride as the Bills — yet again — will hit the reset button after announcing Tuesday that Ryan and his brother, Rob, have been fired.

Offensive coordinator Anthony Lynn will serve as head coach when the Bills close their season Sunday in New York against the Jets. It was also announced that general manager Doug Whaley - who has had a hand in hiring the last two Bills head coaches - will lead the search to find Ryan's replacement, a strong indication that Whaley's job is safe.

Owner Terry Pegula released a boilerplate statement that read, “I spoke with Rex earlier today and we mutually agreed that the time to part ways is now. These decisions are never easy. I want to take this opportunity to thank Rex for all his efforts and wish him all the best moving forward. Kim and I and our entire Bills organization share in the same disappointment and frustration as our fans, but we remain committed to our goal of bringing a championship to western New York.”

Rex is walking out of town with his tail between his legs, having never backed up any of his big talk. The Bills won just 15 of the 31 games he coached; they tacked on two more years to their postseason drought; their defense got much worse as the players never bought into, nor understood, Ryan’s complex scheme; and while no one ever questioned the work ethic of Ryan or his players, it was clear the Bills were not a well-prepared team, and they were often an out-coached team on game days.

When you lose in the NFL, it's worse than anything on Earth. It is quite possible that, fifty years from now, aggrieved Bills fans will burn the Ryan brothers in effigy. But, the funny thing is, the Ryan brothers will be back next season, standing on the sidelines somewhere, and they'll have good jobs and good contracts and all of this will be forgotten.













Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Jeff Fisher




Jeff Fisher was fired yesterday, and everyone seems to think they know why:

Jeff Fisher, whose job security became baffling as he led the Rams through years of mediocrity, was fired today as the team’s head coach. The team announced the move this afternoon.

Fisher was fired after perhaps the single ugliest loss of his coaching tenure, a brutal blowout at the hands of the Falcons on Sunday that ensured he would have his fifth consecutive losing record at the helm of the team.

Fisher's record was awful, but there are plenty of teams with losing records this season. There are plenty of teams in the NFL right now that are under-performing. Fisher wasn't fired because he was losing. Fisher was fired because the front office of the Los Angeles Rams is in complete and utter disarray. They extended his contract and then they fired him? That's dysfunction at the franchise level. What did the recent franchise relocation have to do with this? Who knows? 

Were it not for the close loss in Super Bowl 34 to the Rams, Fisher (then coaching the Tennessee Titans) probably would have ended up a more obscure figure. I believe his finishes this stage of his career with as many regular season losses as Dan Reeves, but don't give up hope. Fisher will probably come back as a coach in some capacity.  Guys like him end up being someone's coordinator for offense or defense almost immediately.

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Melt Down That Goddamned Statue of Joe Paterno




Well, if this doesn't end the discussion as to what Joe Paterno's legacy should be, I don't know what will:

A man testified in court in 2014 that Penn State football coach Joe Paterno ignored his complaints of a sexual assault committed by assistant coach Jerry Sandusky in 1976 when the man was a 14-year-old boy, according to new court documents unsealed Tuesday in a Philadelphia court.

The victim, who was identified in court records as John Doe 150, said that while he was attending a football camp at Penn State, Sandusky touched him as he showered. Sandusky’s finger penetrated the boy’s rectum, Doe testified in court in 2014, and the victim asked to speak with Paterno about it. Doe testified that he specifically told Paterno that Sandusky had sexually assaulted him, and Paterno ignored it.

“Is it accurate that Coach Paterno quickly said to you, ‘I don’t want to hear about any of that kind of stuff, I have a football season to worry about?'” the man’s lawyer asked him in 2014.

“Specifically. Yes … I was shocked, disappointed, offended. I was insulted… I said, is that all you’re going to do? You’re not going to do anything else?”

Paterno, the man testified, just walked away.

They should melt that statue down and use it to make sewage system grates, something useful. I don't like to be wasteful. I do like the idea of justice being served. And if there was any justice whatsoever, the NCAA would invalidate every Paterno win since January 1, 1976 and make it permanent. People make significant character-defining choices in their lives, and Paterno made his when he walked away from accountability.

Monday, May 9, 2016

1971




The first known case of Jerry Sandusky abusing children happened in 1971, just two years after he was hired as a coach by Joe Paterno:

Penn State's legal settlements with Jerry Sandusky's accusers cover alleged abuse dating to 1971, which was 40 years before his arrest, the university said Sunday in providing the first confirmation of the time frame of abuse claims that have led to big payouts.

The disclosure came as Penn State president Eric Barron decried newly revealed allegations that former football coach Joe Paterno was told in 1976 that Sandusky had sexually abused a child and that two assistant coaches witnessed either inappropriate or sexual contact in the late 1980s. Paterno, who died in 2012, said that the first time he received a complaint against Sandusky was in 2001.

Barron said the accusations were unsubstantiated and suggested that the university is being subjected unfairly to what he called rumor and innuendo.

Responding to questions about the president's statement and claims against the school, university spokesman Lawrence Lokman told The Associated Press and ESPN's Josh Moyer that he could confirm that the earliest year of alleged abuse covered in Penn State's settlements is 1971.

ESPN goes to great lengths to push that date--1971. Good God, forty years of being able to abuse human beings and no remorse, nothing out of these people. Why is that important? That date changes the narrative. It makes things that went away come back with a vengeance.  It opens up the whole process again because it was widely believed that Sandusky did not abuse children until the 1990s. There's a whole other aspect to this that has to be addressed, and that is the institutional indifference to human suffering.

In 1971, Paterno could and should have been fired if he had covered up Sandusky's crime. As a coach, Paterno was not a legend by any stretch of the imagination. He was definitely a winning coach--two Orange Bowls and two perfect seasons in the late 1960s will give you some power at a university, but he didn't win a National Championship until 1982. After that, he would have been untouchable. In 1971, he would have been a difficult man to fire, but it could have happened if the scandal had blown up that year and if he had played a role in covering it up.

Is the NCAA going to do anything? I sure hope so. This is unfinished business that should have informed how the school was punished initially. This new revelation makes it seem like they got off light, doesn't it?

What the University President and everyone else seems to miss is that you need to stop blaming the victims. You need to put that strategy to rest because there has been a conviction. There are no allegations anymore--they've been proven in a court of law. I think what they fear are millions more in settlements and more sanctions for the football program. I think that they have to purge college football of Paterno's records and they have to make damned sure they have institutional control over the athletic department.

We're left with what might have happened if they had dealt with Sandusky when they knew about him. There is a remote possibility that he might have gone to jail--unlikely given the times. He might have been dealt with as a problem if he had been fired but that would have simply displaced the tragedy. Instead, he rode Paterno's coattails all the way to local prominence and his own victim grooming farm, also known as his Second Mile charity.

Just when you thought the whole thing couldn't get any sicker, everything turns. Is there any way to hold Penn State University accountable? If not, then we're all part of the problem.








Monday, October 12, 2015

Do-Rags Inhibit Student Athlete Achievement




I mean, look at what a dismal failure this man was at Maryland:

Maryland's lackluster performance under Edsall created rumblings among many of the alumni and boosters who are being counted on to help fund a new indoor football facility that will cost a projected $155 million to build.

After becoming the 34th coach in Maryland football history, Edsall immediately instituted a strict regimen of rules at the school -- including the banning of ball caps, do-rags and earrings in the football house. He also ordered that names be removed from the back of game-day jerseys.

He backed off after a difficult first season in which Maryland lost its final eight games and went 1-7 in the Atlantic Coast Conference.

Although the Terrapins have struggled on the field under Edsall, their performance in the classroom improved dramatically. The football program's Athletic Progress Rate reached an all-time high in 2013-14, and 21 players earned a place on the All-Big Ten Academic Team last year.

He got rid of do-rags! But wait--not everyone who ever wore a do-rag was a thug or a poor academic achiever. That's why I have a photo of David Foster Wallace ready at all times.






Edsall was not a failure if you consider that Maryland's move to the Big Ten was ridiculous and ill-considered. That wasn't his fault--he was crushed by changes that had nothing to do with football per se and everything to do with unrealistic expectations for a school that has no business playing regular season games against Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa or Illinois.

Yes, you can make a joke about the do-rags. But he also improved the overall academic achievement in his program as well as had 21 guys end up on the All-Big Ten Academic Team. Of course you have to fire a guy like that.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Roger Goodell is Doomed




If you consider that the NFL, as a business, has no time for failure, what to make of Roger Goodell?

Today, a Federal judge reinstated Tom Brady because the due process he was supposed to get from Goodell turned out to be a laughable excuse for jacking off in public. The man in charge of the NFL is a serial incompetent.

Let’s take a moment to reflect on the recent failures of Goodell’s tenure as commissioner:

  • He suspended Ray Rice just two games after Rice knocked his fianceĆ© out in an elevator, then suspended Rice indefinitely after video tape of the incident turned the original, paltry suspension into a PR nightmare for the league. A judge later overturned that second suspension because Rice was essentially being punished twice for the same crime, and because the NFL had no real evidence that Rice had lied during the league’s investigation into the incident.

  • He hit the New Orleans Saints with sweeping and severe penalties after determining that the team had instituted a bounty program. Those suspensions were later overturned by ex-commissioner Paul Tagliabue on the grounds that Goodell had overstepped his bounds and reached his decision based on faulty evidence.

  • He eagerly exploited the Adrian Peterson child abuse case as a way to restore his authority and brand as a stern, tough-minded disciplinarian. That suspension was later overturned by a federal judge because Goodell had retroactively and unfairly applied the league’s new domestic violence policy to Peterson’s case.

And now this. This particular defeat feels more meaningful than the previous ones, though, in part because of how truly benign the original “crime” was. Those other suspensions being vacated were big victories for the NFLPA, but Goodell’s flanks were still protected by the fact that he was facing off with a child abuser, a wife-beater, and a football team that purposely tried to hurt people. No matter how slapdash and wrongheaded Goodell’s ersatz judicial processes were revealed to be, he was always able to position himself as a good guy, just trying to get tough on bad people and do the right thing. He was able to point to his failures as evidence that all he needed to Get Things Right in the future was more power.

How much longer with the ownership of the NFL tolerate this kind of thing? Goodell no longer has a friend in Robert Kraft. When you lose friends like that, you're done. Why not dump him before the season opener?

They'd never allow it, but do you know who'd be a great NFL commissioner? Anybody but Goodell, that's who.

If I had to pick a name, I would say Condoleeza Rice. The league needs an image overhaul, and it needs to have a new public face. The sooner, the better. Barring that, Mitt Romney needs a job. If Romneyshambles can run an Olympics, he can run the NFL. He's great with rich people.

And, by the way, Brady was guilty as hell. His due process was violated, but the fact that he's the face of the franchise and he was grabassing with the clowns in charge of keeping the balls inflated should have made this an open and shut case. Jim McNally was Rosencrantz and John Jastremski was Guildenstern and I'm not sure who Brady was because he just doesn't sound moody enough to pull off Hamlet. Brady's culpability was wiped out as a factual matter because Roger Goodell couldn't use due process to prove a ham sandwich is made with bread and ham. I think Brady should have been given the chance to be a gentleman of the sport. He should have been given the chance to defend himself and he should have been asked to apologize to the Indianapolis Colts. I didn't agree with the four game suspension but I sure as hell think someone who plays sports for a living should have the maturity to apologize when caught cheating.