Showing posts with label New York Yankees. Show all posts
Showing posts with label New York Yankees. Show all posts

Monday, May 10, 2010

I'll Tell You Who Dallas Braden Is


Dallas Braden, Oakland AsDallas Braden joins the immortals, sir:
Dallas Braden pitched the 19th perfect game in major league history, shutting down the majors’ hottest team and leading the Oakland Athletics to a 4-0 victory over the Tampa Bay Rays on Sunday.
Braden threw his arms in the air after Gabe Kapler grounded out to shortstop for the final out. The closest the Rays got to a hit was Jason Bartlett’s liner to third leading off the game. Evan Longoria tried to bunt against Braden leading off the fifth, drawing boos from the small crowd.
“It’s without a doubt a team effort,” Braden said. “You got eight guys out there chasing balls and knocking balls down for me. So this is ours, not just mine, this is ours.”
Dallas Braden pitched a perfect game against the best team in baseball, as of today. He went up against a team that has been playing .750 baseball. 
Mr. A-Rod, if you walk on that pitcher's mound again, I hope he drills you in the ass and I hope everyone in the stadium laughs when you cry like a titty baby.
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Friday, April 23, 2010

He Did What?


I have to admit that I was surprised to read this, too:

Here's Dallas Braden after l'affaire A-Rod-walky-over-the-moundy:

"The long and short of it is it's pretty much baseball etiquette. He should probably take a note from his captain over there, because you don't run across the pitcher's mound in between an inning or during the game. I was just dumbfounded that he would let that slip his mind."


And here was A-Rod's response:

"He just told me to get off his mound. I was a little surprised. I've never quite heard that, especially from a guy that has a handful of wins in his career. I've never even heard of that in my career and I still don't know. I thought it was pretty funny, actually."


I wrote this morning that I had never heard of that particular unwritten rule. Since then, however, I've done a bit of Googling and read some stuff some other people have written and I think it's safe to say that it's at least a minor unwritten rule. It's not up there with "don't steal second when you have a 10-run lead" or "don't go one-flap-down on your home run trot unless you're Jeffrey Leonard," but it exists. It may be a dumb rule -- as so many of the unwritten rules are -- but it's a rule and ballplayers seem to care about such things.

Which causes A-Rod's comments to ring hollow. That guy has been around baseball his whole life, so I'm assuming he's heard of it. He may or may not have walked across the mound with the intention of getting under Dallas Braden's skin -- maybe it was just a brain lock -- but his response was truly intended to.

No, you don't "walk across the baseball mound." You don't tread upon the mound, period. That's not only his mound--Dallas Braden, the pitcher from the other team--but it is also his teammate's mound as well. And you don't walk on it. Period.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Stealing Signs?



Sounds like the carping of a bunch of whiners:
The accusations of sign-stealing at Citizens Bank Park by the Phillies that resurfaced during the World Series yesterday are nothing new to the Mets. The Mets were so convinced in 2007 that the Phillies were using a center-field camera to steal signs they complained to Major League Baseball, whose subsequent investigation was deemed inconclusive. Without specifically saying so, the Yankees revived the accusations in their Game 4 victory Sunday by meeting frequently at the mound and having catcher Jorge Posada flash multiple signs even when no runners were on base. nd when ex-Phillies manager Larry Bowa reportedly said on Philadelphia's 97.5 The Fanatic that the Phillies were good at stealing signs, his former team -- specifically center fielder Shane Victorino -- had heard quite enough. Victorino erupted before Game 5.

So what?

Stealing signs is as old as baseball itself. If you can't overcome that, and take advantage of that, and engage in some deception, and persevere, then you don't deserve to win anything, now do you?

Cowboy up, Yankees. That's what Johnny Damon would say. He'd say "Cowboy Up." He probably wouldn't say "whine about how they're all big dumb meaney-heads."

How hard is it? Come on, Yankees. You've played this game a little while. Get used to it.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Where was that strike zone last night?


Here's a good example of some awful sports writing:
What if I told you the New York Yankees are ruining this World Series?

What if I said that Andy Pettitte has as many hits as Mark Teixeira?

Or that CC Sabathia has as many pitching wins as George Steinbrenner?

And yet, incredibly, the Yankees can close out this thing with a win Monday night. They can make the Philadelphia Phillies the ex-world champions. They can do what few, if any people predicted: beat the Phillies in phive.

That's how good these Yankees are. They improvise. Adapt. Overcome. Talk all you want about their $208 million payroll and their roll call of stars, but the Yankees are winning because of their hearts, not their bank accounts.

One night -- the first night of this World Series -- they were down 1-0. Now they're up 3-1 and on the brink of a long-awaited world title.

"That was sooooo awesome," gushed actress Kate Hudson as she walked toward the Yankees' clubhouse after Sunday evening's 7-4 victory.

Hudson and Alex Rodriguez are an item. But the real love affair is between Yankee fans and A-Rod's two-out, go-ahead RBI double in the top of the ninth off Phillies closer Brad Lidge. It was only his second hit of the series, but like his opposite-field home run of a night earlier, it was a crucial at-bat.

Who cares about Kate Hudson? Why is the girlfriend of one of the players even in this discussion?

How about telling it like it is--last night's game was stolen at home plate. The balls and strikes called last night elicited numerous double-takes from the players. A frustrated Jorge Posada went so far as to jaw about the balls and strikes called on him--and he went right back out there and caught for his own pitcher, no doubt knowing that he might have poisoned last night's relations with the home plate umpire. When catchers are complaining, something is wrong with the balls and strikes.

Fox Sports gets zero assistance and literally no useful analysis from Tim McCarver. Every time a close pitch registered as a strike on the graphic, McCarver was noticeably absent from proclaiming what most of us already knew--the game was called by an umpire who had a very questionable grasp on the strike zone last night.

Has sports writing degenerated this far? No one wants to talk about the game anymore when there are hotties in the stands? I love hotties. A little sports writing about sports now and then would be welcome.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

The New Yankee Stadium is a Lemon


What if you built it, and they came, and the damned thing turned out to be unsafe and full of cracks?
It seems the Yankees' new $1.5 billion city-subsidized stadium is beginning to show cracks, just six months after its debut. The team has recently fallen under scrutiny for cracks in the concrete pedestrian ramps -- some as much as an inch wide and several feet long -- prompting the team to hire an engineering company to determine whether the problems were caused by the installation, the design, the concrete or other factors.

On the bright side, Alice McGillion, a team spokeswoman, called the cracks "cosmetic," saying that they pose no safety issues because they did not affect the structural integrity of the ramps.

"There is no evidence that there is any issue or problem with concrete or any material in the building," she said.

Interstate Industrial Corporation, the company that poured the concrete, was banned from doing city work in 2004 because city investigators concluded it had ties to organized crime, an accusation its owners have denied.

Interstate may sound familiar since they are currently front-and-center in the trial of former Giuliani Police Commissioner Bernie Kerik. According to the Village Voice, Kerik is accused of accepting $165,000 in renovations on his Riverdale apartment from the DiTomasso brothers -- the principals of Interstate -- in return for recommending them for city contracts they were barred from.

As if that wasn't bad enough, the company that evaluated the strength of the concrete poured for the walkways, Testwell Laboratories, its owners and several officers were indicted last year on state racketeering charges. It's unclear whether the team will have to tear out any of the concrete in the ramps in question, however, according to the New York Times, the problem could cost several million dollars to fix.

Typical East Coast mentality--no one gives a shit. Well, if your fans have noticed that the structure is full of cracks and that the thing is falling apart after having only been open since April, then someone will quietly have to go back and assess whether all of that cheap organized crime cement was worth it.

Tonight's ballgame is moved to Sunday--how sad for me. I was hoping to see this series extended to seven games. One more day of rest will help the pitching, and perhaps we'll see an excellent game tomorrow night.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Impressive Win Sends the Minnesota Twins into the Post Season



The September collapse of the Detroit Tigers will be remembered for a long time, even if the Twins get bounced out of the post-season:
The Twin Cities' gray mausoleum of a ballpark was supposed to have staged its own funeral Sunday, synchronized with game No. 162 of the regular season. The team had been counting down to Oct. 3, 2009, since back in 2008. Through state-of-the-art marketing methodology, the Twins had managed to sell the joint out in advance for the alleged finale while wringing nostalgia out of a building known for more engineering gaffes, lousy ergonomics, cut corners and aesthetic effrontery than the last Yugo plant in Kragujevac.

Then a funny thing happened (funny strange, not funny ha-ha): Minnesota caught Detroit in the AL Central and extended the season to a tiebreaker for the division title. That meant game No. 163 Tuesday (one day after the other Thing That Wouldn't Leave, Brett Favre, owned the Dome) and game No. 82 under this particular Teflon sky. One more opportunity for baseball fans who prefer their cathedrals plastic and pre-fab and submerged rather than, y'know, green and retro and outdoors.

So what happened? The AL Central title that no one wanted to win for so much of this season was decided in a game that seemingly wouldn't end, at a ballpark that refuses to die. Until Alexi Casilla's one-out single to right drove home Carlos Gomez in the bottom of the 12th inning for a 6-5 Minnesota victory (RECAP | BOX SCORE), it really wasn't clear who or what would flatline first: the Tigers, the Twins or the crowd, a gathering large enough (54,088) to set the Metrodome record for a regular-season game on its final chance, 28 years in. We should have known, though, that the ballpark itself would keep on ticking, its life force right up there Michael Myers' or -- da-dah-DAH! -- Godzilla's for sequels and false endings.

Funny thing is, the Metrodome's never-say-die attitude really suits the Twins team still playing there. Whether building or club, each time someone tries to pull its plug, it perks up and starts the machines to blinking again. And lot of folks' pulses to racing.

"This is the most unbelievable game I've ever played or seen,'' said Minnesota shortstop Orlando Cabrera, whose two-run homer in the seventh had the Twins up 4-3. Two innings later, Cabrera's catch of Magglio Ordonez's line drive and throw across the diamond to double-up Curtis Granderson kept it alive at 5-5.

Baseball is about looking at the next game, however, and this is what the Twins are up against as they start the first ever post-season game at the new Yankee Stadium this evening:
1) Play-In game hangover
Last season, the White Sox beat the Twins 1-0 in their play-in game but then meekly bowed out to the Rays in their ALDS series, losing three games to one. Two years ago, the Rockies beat the Padres in Game 163 on Matt Holliday's chin-banging slide and phantom touch of home plate, and that allowed them to continue their late-season momentum through NLDS and NLCS sweeps of the Phillies and the Diamondbacks, before they were trounced in four World Series games by the Red Sox. Merely participating in a play-in game does not always represent a harbinger of first-round doom; but in the Twins' case, it very well might. Alexi Casilla's game-winning single on Tuesday came just 20 hours and 20 minutes before Wednesday's first pitch was due to be thrown, and during that time the Twins had to travel from Minnesota to New York. Fatigue will be a factor for everyone, but even worse for Minnesota is that the man who is arguably their most reliable starting pitcher, Scott Baker, was forced to pitch on Wednesday and won't be available until Game 3 at the earliest. Momentum and adrenaline can only carry the Twins so far.

2) Offensive talent gap
The Yankees beat the Twins in all seven regular-season games the teams played in 2009, and outscored them 41-25. Minnesota first baseman Justin Morneau, the 2006 AL MVP, played in all seven of those losses, and led the Twins in batting average during them, hitting .346. Morneau, though, was lost for the season in mid-September due to a stress fracture in his lower back, and his absence means that while the Yankees will feature eight regulars with an OPS better than .850, the Twins' roster will include only three: Joe Mauer, Jason Kubel and Michael Cuddyer. The Yankees' clear-cut offensive superiority will be difficult for the Twins to overcome, particularly with a depleted pitching staff that will rely on rookie Brian Duensing, he of the nine career big league starts and the 33-36 minor league record, to start the opener.

3) Joba will rule
Last June, just as the Yankees were beginning the seemingly endless process of turning Joba Chamberlain into a starting pitcher, I had the opportunity to sit down with him for 20 minutes or so to discuss the transition. "You know you're going to be in for six, seven innings, so you have to save something every once in awhile," Chamberlain said then. "When you're in the bullpen, you know you're not going to see this guy more than once, so you can just let it go as hard as you can. As a starter sometimes you want to pitch less than what you can, so if you have to get a big strikeout you can throw that one harder."

Chamberlain has still not mastered that balancing act, as his career splits as a starter (4.18 ERA, 1.480 WHIP, 8.4 strikeouts per nine innings) and as a reliever (1.50 ERA, .983 WHIP, 11.9 K's/9) suggest. The Yankees, though, plan to deploy Chamberlain in relief in this series, and in preparation for that they used him out of the bullpen in his last outing of the season, on Oct. 4. He looked like his old, dominant self, throwing 97 miles-per-hour and retiring the Rays in order. The Yanks' pen has been terrific ever since the club moved Phil Hughes into a relief role on June 8 -- the pen has a cumulative 3.37 ERA and a .219 batting average against since then -- and it now might feature the best closer in baseball (Mariano Rivera), the best eighth-inning man in baseball (Hughes), and the best seventh-inning man in baseball (Chamberlain). If, in other words, the Yankees enter the seventh inning with a lead over the Twins, the rest of the game should be a mere formality.

4) Which CC Sabathia will show up?
CC Sabathia has, to this point in his career, been labeled a "small-game pitcher," due in large measure to his poor postseason performances -- he's 2-3 with a 7.92 ERA in five playoff starts. His explanation has usually been the same: that he was trying too hard. "I think maybe [I] just [try] to go out and do too much," Sabathia said again on Tuesday "Trying to go out and throw shutouts and throw no-hitters and things like that."

Sabathia, however, is probably being too hard on himself, as five clunkers -- the last of which came during last season's NLDS, after he has pitched magnificently on what seemed like every other day down the stretch to get the Brewers into the postseason at all -- make for a small sample size indeed. The fact is that Sabathia remains one of the game's true aces, and an ace who has pitched very well against the Twins: statistics provided to SI.com by Bill James show that no active Twin who has more than three at-bats against Sabathia has hit better than Mauer's .217, except, weirdly, Casilla, who is 9-for-13 (.692), and backup catcher Mike Redmond, who is 13-for-26 (.500). Sabathia will start Game 1 and, if necessary, Game 4, and the odds seem good that that "small-game pitcher" label won't persist much longer.

5) What about the 'intangibles'?
These would be things like the aforementioned momentum, which the Twins -- as winners of 17 of their last 21 games -- have; chemistry, which the Twins clearly have; and crowd support, which the Twins have, as evidenced by the raucous atmosphere in the Metrodome on Tuesday night. But the Yankees, who had little to play for as their AL East title and home-field advantage has seemed secure for ages, won 13 of their last 21 games; feature better clubhouse chemistry than they have in years thanks to jovial imports like Sabathia, Mark Teixeira, A.J. "Pie In The Face" Burnett, and Swisher; and had an MLB-best 57-24 record at home. In other words, while the Twins' Morneau-less streak into the playoffs has been stirring, all signs indicate that their run will end no later than Sunday.

Ben Reiter is taking the Yankees in three games; I'll go against conventional wisdom and I'll pick the Twins in four games. I think they will split with New York, and win it in the Metrodome.

Monday, August 17, 2009

The Greatest Shortstop Ever



If there's a valid argument against the idea that Derek Jeter is not the greatest shortstop ever, I haven't heard it:
Yet another Hall of Famer passed and milestone reached for Yankees captain Derek Jeter.

Jeter passed Luis Aparicio for most hits by a shortstop on Sunday when he fought off a pitch on his hands from Seattle rookie Doug Fister and sent it down the right-field line for an RBI double in the third inning of New York's 10-3 loss to the Mariners. His 2,674th hit as a shortstop came two innings after he had singled leading off the game.

"I just try to be consistent year in and year out," said the 35-year-old Jeter, who claimed to be unaware of the record coming into the weekend. "If you are consistent, good things happen.

"It's kind of hard to believe, to say the least."

He had eight hits in 16 at-bats in the four-game series with the Mariners.

Jeter also has 13 hits as a designated hitter in his career. His 2,688 hits are second in Yankees history, 33 behind Lou Gehrig.

"It's amazing what he has been able to accomplish -- and he still has a lot of baseball left," said New York manager Joe Girardi, who was Jeter's teammate from the shortstop's rookie season with the Yankees in 1996 through '99.

Jeter is batting .323 in 112 games this season. This is his 14th consecutive season with at least 150 hits, passing Gehrig for the longest streak in Yankees' history. It is the longest such streak among active players.

Sentimental favorite Cal Ripken and, of course, Barry Larkin, rank high on this list, but I can't imagine anyone will keep Alex Rodriguez at the top of the list of all-time shortstops. Rodriguez could end up playing 3rd base longer than he played shortstop (1994-2003), making him the best ever at two positions, but I doubt it.

Derek Jeter's stock is rising, and even when he poses with the ladies on the beach, he has on his game face, which is a bemused look of concentration and happiness. Jeter plays in the toughest media market in the country for a team that has more pressure on it to win than any other franchise in existence. He is no primadonna. He is the real thing.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Family is Nothing to Talk Smack About


Family is always a liability in sports, and in life in general:
The estranged mother of Yankee pitcher Joba Chamberlain is in trouble again, this time for leaving a threatening message on a woman's cell phone. Already awaiting trial for allegedly selling methamphetamine, Jacqueline Standley was charged Monday by Nebraska police with disturbing the peace. Lincoln, Neb., police spokeswoman Katie Flood said Standley, 44, left a message July 27 on an ex-friend's cell phone that was interpreted as a threat. "You'd better disappear. Keep your eyes open," Standley reportedly said in the message left for the 28-year-old woman, who was not identified. Standley, of Lincoln, was charged after the woman played the message for cops, Flood said.

Beating up on Joba Chamberlain because of his pitching? Fine and dandy by me. I am a lifelong hater of all things Yankee. But leave the poor man alone when it comes to the mother.
Having to deal with this is not a good thing--the woman has a long history of issues:

The mother of Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain was arrested on suspicion of selling meth to an undercover officer in Lincoln.

Jacqueline Standley was arrested Saturday at her apartment at 1641 Prospect St. and charged Monday with delivery of an exceptionally hazardous drug, a Class 2 felony.

In court Monday, County Judge James Foster set her percentage bond at $5,000 and appointed the public defender's office to represent her. Standley bonded out of jail Monday night.

The charge carries a possible one- to 50-year prison sentence.

In court records, police allege the 44-year-old delivered a bag of methamphetamine to an undercover officer the night of Feb. 11 at her apartment.

The police, they are serious about stopping this meth thing. Here's to Mr. Chamberlain being able to maintain his professional level of play, in spite of what's going on with his estranged mother.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Give it a rest



Oh, please--please tell me you're joking with this crap:

When it comes to the sham that is the Boston Red Sox's championship legacy during the 21st century, it's about the New York Yankees.

It's always been about the Yankees with the Red Sox.

More specifically, it's always been about Yogi Berra's quote for the ages regarding the Red Sox toward his Yankees: "They'll never beat us."

And they haven't. Not legitimately. Especially not given the latest news that David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez formed an artificially inflated duo to slug the Red Sox to those World Series titles in 2004 and 2007.

Ortiz confirmed through the players' association that he tested positive for drug use in 2003, and sources told the New York Times' Web site that Ramirez did the same. So Ramirez is at least a two-time loser. He served a 50-game suspension earlier this year for violating baseball's drug policy.

All of this means several things. It means the Bloody Sock becomes just a bloody sock. It means Theo Epstein looks more like an opportunist than a whiz kid (in addition to acquiring Ortiz, he grabbed reliever Eric Gagne, another steroid guy). It means those contributing to Fenway Park's record for consecutive sellouts at home are among the bamboozled. It means the rise of the Red Sox Nation is headed for a dramatic collapse, even sooner than I predicted in this space a few weeks ago.


Calm down, Poindexter. No one's talking collapse just yet.

The idea that any title, record, statistic or victory is legitimate or not due to the taint of the steroid era rests with your non-Commissioner of Baseball, the venerable Bud Selig, who will not touch controversy. He will not deal with any issue that might cause money to evaporate from the grubbing mitts of the owners who empower him to keep their money from even getting close to the evaporation phase of existence.

Here's what we should do--invalidate everything or nothing, and then shut up about it. The 2000 Yankees are nothing to be proud of either, by the way:

When the Yankees won their third successive World Series and fourth in five years in 2000, Torre, their manager, was hailed as an automatic entrant to the Hall of Fame. Now, however, it develops that the Yankees' 2000 team was loaded with players who used performance-enhancing drugs before, during or after that season.

Between the Mitchell report and unsealed affidavits filed by law enforcement officials, the count has reached 10, including Clemens, Denny Neagle and Jason Grimsley. Others named included Andy Pettitte, Chuck Knoblauch, Mike Stanton and David Justice, but the use for which they are cited occurred after the 2000 World Series.

It may be far-fetched to question whether Torre could be tainted by the steroids fallout, but there are critics who say baseball should do something about records possibly enhanced by steroids use, so why should a team be any different from a player? If you want to question many of Bonds's 762 home runs and Clemens's 354 victories, look at teams' achievements, too.

According to the Mitchell report, Clemens used steroids in the latter half of the 2000 season. Neagle played for the Yankees in the latter half of that season and, according to Mitchell, used human growth hormone.


Sports blogging really could use some cleaning up. It's as if they don't think people can actually read. This notion that a comparison of the rivalry of the teams of the 1950s matters a whit today is phony nostalgia, nothing more. Baseball is more than phony nostalgia and hazy memories masquerading as profound analysis. Should we pine for the 1909 season, and what it means to today's Pittsburgh Pirates to know that the lofty achievements of that season's team--a first place finish and a championship--mean nothing as they unload players?

Come on. Find something meaningful to write about.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Way to go, dummy...

norman-psychedelic-20Many people know me as "the fellow who is banned for life from Fenway Park." I was known as the Fenway Freelancer and the Fenway Howler and the Fenway Pest for many years before the current ownership decided to ban me from the ballpark.

This is because I believe in sharing my opinions while sucking down warm beer and bad hot dogs. I don't eat nachos, ever, and I don't know what else to get from the rinky-dink fellows who sell things. I just get the beer and the hot dogs and, because of my slight frame and aversion to moderation, I generally get to the seventh inning without my shirt, without my socks, and with a lump on my head from being dragged from the ball field. Yes, I do tend to run onto the field of play when I think someone has done something stupid. I'm a helpful person. Tragically, few people like being helped.

There are warning signs posted at all entrances with my photo (including a mock up of me in a moustache, me in a wheelchair, and me in a wedding dress). Suffice it to say, I haven't been back to the old ballpark in recent years. I have purchased a home in surburban Maryland where my son Buster currently lives and we have attended a few games at Camden Yards. I am not banned there for this season, and that's something to be thankful for. It turns out, we will be leaving the Admiral Hassenpfeffer in Tampa, Florida for an extended period of refitting and repair. I will return to Maryland and perhaps resume my lobbying activities. Maybe I'll straighten out some business affairs and continue trying to procure an operating aircraft carrier for Father and his little plans. I do not know.

I do know this, though--if one is going to open their yap, one should wait before they have the rug yanked out from under them.

To wit:

A-Rod allegedly is one of the 104 players who tested positive six years ago.


So, you might understand why players were afraid to take any test that was "anonymous." The results were out of sight for five years, and suddenly the government can say, "All of these guys tested positive. Because we said so."


I know what you're saying: If you're clean, you have nothing to worry about. Well, call me lame for saying this, but what if somebody wants to drag down A-Rod? Sure, the odds are long that his sample could have been tampered with, but it's still possible. It makes you wonder why people continue to dig and dig. To watch people crumble?


Now for my kicker: Collusion is alive and well. Ask the veteran players who are fighting the stigma of being tied to the steroid era. They are losing jobs to young guys who have been around since real testing started. General managers can sign the young guys and not have to worry about them breaking down from possible steroids use. As a result, good players -- clean players -- are having a tough time finding a job.



Whoopsy-daisy! Should have waited, sir, for this:
Alex Rodriguez admitted Monday that he used performance-enhancing drugs from 2001-03, saying he did so because of the pressures of being baseball’s highest-paid player.

“When I arrived in Texas in 2001, I felt an enormous amount of pressure. I felt like I had all the weight of the world on top of me and I needed to perform, and perform at a high level every day,” the New York Yankees star said in an interview with ESPN that was broadcast Monday shortly after it was recorded.


Rodriguez, who for years has denied using steroids, was given a $252 million, 10-year contract by the Texas Rangers in December 2000.



Oh well. So much for America's pastime. I am quite thankful that our bailout money arrived when it did. Had I made one of my patented snap decisions and purchased a major league baseball team, such as the decrepit and always suck-tacular losing shitstorm called the Chicago Cubs or the usually winning and always affable Florida Marlins, I would be sitting here with bankruptcy and failure. My prediction?

Major League Baseball will be defunct in three years. Four years, tops.