Showing posts with label Stumblebums. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stumblebums. Show all posts

Thursday, July 2, 2020

Area Man Auditions for Remake of The Untouchables

Honestly, does anyone still believe Trump was ever an athlete?

Come on.

The only this stumblebum has for a bat is to commit felony assault and scare the staff.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Frat Boy Pot Luck Rampage

I'm surprised there aren't more stories like this:
According to a report by the Michigan State student newspaper, 15-20 males entered a campus dormitory and assaulted an injured male and female students.

Among the assailants, the State News reported, were unnamed football players according to witnesses.
Brent Mitchell, a communication junior who said he was sent to Lansing's Sparrow Hospital after being punched in the face, said some of the men wore ski masks, but others were recognized as football team members.

"I walked up and said, 'It isn't worth it.' A guy with dreadlocks hit me and in the scuffle slapped, hit females to get them out of the way," Mitchell said.


Mitchell said members of his fraternity, Iota Phi Theta, had just finished a potluck event and were folding chairs in the lounge when the men entered. The men said they were looking for a man who had been involved in a spat with one of them the night before during an Iota Phi Theta event at The Small Planet, 16800 Chandler Road, Mitchell said.

Mitchell said he was struck after the men realized the person they sought wasn't there. He said the altercation lasted for about a minute before the men left.

Neither university officials nor campus police would comment on the specifics of the incident.

Of course not--no one's going to comment on a Frat Boy rampage. The problem here is not athletics, although the involvement of football players will probably lead the simple-minded BACK to that conclusion. The problem here is not even alcohol or fraternity life. The problem here rests with the dubious idea of having a potluck.

A potluck?

No one--and I mean, no one--in this H1N1, cootie-sharing, hepatitis B-saturated nation should be going to a potluck. No one.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

If You Want to Get Paid, Go to Washington

I wouldn't panic about whether or not Washington decides to bring another head case and a team cancer to play with the Redskins:
Redskins coach Jim Zorn did not rule out the possibility of the Redskins pursuing Larry Johnson. He said the team has had internal discussions this morning and will continue to talk about the troubled running back. Zorn said the team will likely sign a running back if Clinton Portis can't play -- he specifically mention Quinton Ganther, whom the team released last Friday. As for Johnson, "I don't know," Zorn said. "I need to have a longer conversation than I've had to make a decision," Zorn said.

Sure, it might work. How bad can it get? What harm would it do?

And isn't it a little odd that Zorn is being asked about personnel? Does anyone really think he's pulling the trigger on a trade or a player signing?

Want to get paid and not have to perform? Go to the Washington Redskins, sir.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Sports Betting Will Destroy Everything

The Roman Colloseum
What the crap?

Sports betting is legal now in Delaware?

The Delaware Supreme Court has ruled that a law allowing sports betting does not conflict with the state constitution, paving the way for Delaware to become the only state east of the Rocky Mountains to allow wagering on the outcome of games.

In a 22-page ruling dated Wednesday, the court said the state constitution permits lotteries that have an element of skill, as long as chance is the predominant factor in winning or losing. The opinion comes in response to Gov. Jack Markell’s request for the court’s views on a law he signed earlier this month authorizing a sports betting lottery.

“I am very pleased with the Supreme Court’s decision,” reads a statement by Markell, who’s relying on the lottery to help overcome a projected revenue shortfall of more than $600 million for the upcoming fiscal year.

This is insane. This is an insane disaster of epic proportions and Congress cannot overreact and hold hearings fast enough for me, sir. Yes, a number of people who need or want to make money will make money, but the problem with that is, they are the kind of people who should be making money from oldsters with plastic cups full of nickels, not wanna-be sports enthusiasts who will bet their paychecks on a Browns-Texans game.

Gambling is a terrible, terrible thing for our society. I am so opposed to gambling that I rarely carry insurance on my cars, save when the state in which I'm living requires that I do so. I don't even bother checking to see if I've won anything when I purchase something that has a contest embedded into it. Who has the time? Not me.

People are going to flock to Delaware and engage in betting on sports. Delaware is smack dab in the middle of two large conferences--the ACC and the Big East, roughly. The number of people who would bet on college football or college basketball games is enormous. I would hope that they would exclude college athletics from this law.

Further in the article, there's some ho0-ha about the NFL trying to stop Delaware from enacting this law. Bite down hard, NFL. Bite down and fight this thing. You don't want sports betting on your games on the East Coast. You will have thousands of fans betting everything they own on a Bills-Eagles game when Terrell Owens is in Philly for the first time. You do not want this. Sports betting will ruin the economy, drive families into homeless shelters, cause undue pain and suffering to professional atheletes who cannot adequately explain to the media why they are stumblebums, and will likely unleash rioting and chaos across this land.

Betting on NBA games? That's fine with me. The NBA is already fixed. What's the big whoop-de-do?